A little more comfort.
One small step together.

“Is my child just shy?” It’s an understandable question.

Some children need time to warm up. Others want to join in but feel stuck when attention turns their way. Being quiet alone doesn’t tell you why. Notice whether your child seems comfortable, can ask for help, and can take part in the day.

Many children who go quiet are doing fine. Some benefit from gentle practice; others need more support. This page can’t tell you which applies to your child.

Read more about that first worry · Explore the school situation

Four things to try this week. All free.

1. Make room for a wave or a nod. A greeting doesn’t have to be spoken. Let the moment move on without asking for a repeat.
2. Try a shared activity. Draw, build, or look at a book side by side. Make a comment rather than turning the time into questions.
3. Notice the bravery quietly. “You stayed with the group even when it felt new.” Recognize the effort, not how many words came out.
4. Agree on one small step. Ask your child and teacher what would feel manageable—perhaps showing a picture to a familiar adult. There is no deadline for a breakthrough.

What does video practice look like?

At a comfortable moment at home, make a short practice video that lets your child see themselves taking a small step, such as answering a familiar question. Watching a comfortable success may make the situation feel more familiar and less threatening. It isn’t a promise that speech will happen at school.

Let your child choose whether to try or watch. Stop if it stops feeling comfortable. Small steps count; pressure doesn’t help.

When is it worth talking to someone?

If your child seems distressed or has trouble asking for help, joining activities, or getting through the school day, talk with their teacher and a qualified health professional. You can ask for help without choosing a diagnosis first.

Our low-pressure suggestions are consistent with NHS guidance on supporting children who find speaking difficult. That does not mean your child has selective mutism.